Would you describe yourself as a Helper?

And if so do you recognise any of these traits in yourself

1. **Excessive Need for Approval:** “Do you ever find yourself seeking a lot of approval or validation from others?”

2. **Neglecting Self-Care:** “Have you ever noticed if you prioritize taking care of others more than yourself?”

3. **Difficulty Setting Boundaries:** “Do you ever struggle with saying no or setting boundaries with people?”

4. **Fear of Rejection:** “Have you ever avoided situations because you were afraid of feeling rejected or unloved?”

5. **Seeking External Validation:** “Do you sometimes rely on what others think to feel worthwhile?”

6. **Comparing Themselves to Others:** “Do you ever catch yourself comparing yourself to others frequently?”

7. **Difficulty Accepting Compliments:** “Do you find it challenging to accept compliments from others?”

8. **Self-Criticism:** “Do you ever engage in self-criticism or negative self-talk?”

9. **Dependence on Relationships:** “Do you feel like you rely heavily on your relationships to feel a sense of self-worth?”

If these questions open up some self-awareness in you, and invoke some reflection of your own experience, you might feel inclined to have a chat with me about it. Please do so, it’s completely complimentary and without commitment.

Contact Me!

#meaningfullife #selfesteem

Are you a bit of a perfectionist, I know I am, just a bit….. How does that sound, a bit too familiar maybe?

  1. Do you engage in self-criticism?
    • For instance, do you frequently berate yourself for making even minor mistakes?
  2. Have you ever found yourself pursuing perfection to an extreme degree?
    • Can you recall a situation where you were so fixated on achieving perfection that it became exhausting?
  3. Do you sometimes become inflexible in your thinking or actions due to your high standards?
    • Have you ever been in a situation where you were unwilling to compromise or adapt because you believed that your way, was the only correct one?
  4. Have you ever caught yourself being overly critical or judgmental of others?
    • Can you think of a time when you found yourself being excessively critical of someone else’s actions or choices?
  5. Do you tend to avoid relaxation or leisure activities because you believe you must meet your high standards first?
    • Have you avoided taking breaks or enjoying leisure activities until you met your standards of work or productivity?
  6. Do you find it challenging to accept compliments or praise from others?
    • Can you recall moments when someone complimented you, but you struggled to accept their praise, either dismissing it or thinking they didn’t truly mean it?
  7. Have you noticed a reliance on external validation to feel a sense of self-worth?
    • Have you ever sought approval or recognition from others as a way to validate your own sense of self-worth, relying on external sources for your self-esteem.

Have you noticed any of the following in yourself?

1. **Conflict Avoidance:** Do you ever feel you tend to avoid conflict more than others?

2. **Difficulty Articulating Needs:** Have you found it challenging to express your own needs and often prioritize others’ needs over your own?

3. **Lack of Assertiveness:** In situations that require assertiveness, do you feel like you struggle to stand up for yourself or share your opinions?

4. **Indecisiveness:** Does your inherent indecisiveness seem to intensify when you’re not feeling good, causing doubts about your preferences and beliefs?

5. **Feeling Overlooked:** Have you ever experienced a sense of being unnoticed or unimportant, especially when you’re having a bad day.

6. **Boundary Challenges:** Do you think you have difficulty setting and maintaining boundaries, leading to a sense of being taken advantage of or an inability to protect your own space and needs?

7. **Procrastination:** Have you noticed yourself procrastinating, particularly in situations or tasks that could lead to conflict or stress?

If you or someone you know would answer yes to three or more of the above questions you could be in need of a dose of True-Self-Esteem. If so please feel free to message me to arrange a chat and see if I can help. Click Here!

Robert.

#selfesteem #selfimage

Unlearning False Beliefs for True Self-Esteem

About a month ago I was asked the following question in a comment to one of my posts on LinkedIn:

Do you think self-esteem comes with age and experiences in life or are some people naturally born with it?

Well, we are certainly born with it. Have you ever seen two-year-olds playing, do they look as though they have a strong sense of self? Of course they do!

Can it be added to through life? It may be possible, but I can’t think of any examples.

Self-esteem will change with age and experience, influenced by the beliefs we accumulate, but rarely for the better. But what if True-Self-Esteem isn’t about accumulating, but unlearning? True-Self-Esteem emerges from shedding false beliefs.

Life experiences can shape our self-perception, often leading to low self-esteem. True-Self-Esteem begins by examining and unlearning the negative beliefs we hold about ourselves. Often deeply ingrained and unnoticed, these beliefs stem from comparisons, societal pressures, and past failures. They’re not truths but distorted perceptions.

Unlearning is a gradual process involving self-compassion, self-acceptance, and questioning the validity of these beliefs. It’s also about embracing vulnerability and recognizing that our worth isn’t tied to external validation.

Cultivating True-Self-Esteem requires self-care, setting boundaries, and nurturing mental and emotional well-being. Seeking support and guidance is essential in this journey.

In conclusion, while age and experience can impact self-esteem, True-Self-Esteem emerges from unlearning false beliefs. By shedding negativity and embracing our true selves, we can cultivate authentic, resilient Self-Esteem.

If these posts resonate with you please Connect or Follow to find out more.

Is there anything else that True-Self-Esteem will give you?

Self-Expression

True-Self-Esteem can really shake up how you present yourself to the world 😀 .

Instead of battling those sneaky expectations about how you should act, you’re liberated to just be yourself. Plus, once you understand what real True-Self-Esteem is, and break free 🏃‍♀️ from that never-ending cycle of rewards and punishments it’s all wrapped up in, you’ll get in touch with what you truly desire for yourself and your life. 

That’s when you’ll start expressing yourself with a whole new level of enthusiasm and strength. 

Follow NOW to ensure you have details of an exciting new training coming soon!

So What Else Will True-Self-Esteem Give You?

Self-Awareness!

True-Self-Esteem is all about how we see ourselves, and it starts way back in our childhood.

When we’re young 👶 , our worth is tied to how others see us or what we achieve. But here’s the thing: even if we achieve a lot later in life, we might still feel unsatisfied because our self-esteem keeps hanging on to our future successes or failures. It’s like we’re missing something, you know? Life becomes this never-ending treadmill 🏃‍♂️ , lacking real excitement or purpose.

But fear not! True-Self-Esteem is here to help you out. It’ll show you how to spot these deep-rooted beliefs and get a new perspective on who you really are and what you’re all about. It’s time to discover your True-Self and embrace 🤗 it!

Click HERE to ensure you have details of an exciting new training coming soon!

One Drive / Cloudstation Test

So what will True-Self-Esteem give you?

True-Self-Esteem is like this awesome inner force that comes alive when we’re totally owning who we are, tapping into that creative juice that’s at the core of our being.

It’s where we’re real, unfiltered, and brave. It’s also where we show kindness and understanding to others. This place is where we find our happiness and the determination to keep going, to team up with others, and to build the life we really, really want.

We’re not talking about superhero stuff or being famous like movie stars. Oh no, we’re talking about the kind of person we are and the connections we make with others. It’s something we can strengthen or lose, deepen or improve, once we figure out what helps it grow and what blocks it.

More to come, same time next week……..

So what is True-Self-Esteem?

Firstly it’s not what most people think. It’s not feeling good about something you have or do.

https://unsplash.com/photos/3Yi7garGIHI

 I’ll share an example from my own experience. When I was a kid I wanted an Italian racing bike. This I thought would make me happy and my friends like me.

 It made me happy for a day or two until I hit a kerb and buckled the expensive aluminium wheels, then I wasn’t so happy. My friends liked me just about the same.

Owning that bike didn’t help me ask girls out, it didn’t help me with my exams, and it didn’t help me put my foot down about the career I wanted when I was told “There’s no money in that”.

 What that bike gave me for a while was context-specific. It gave me Pseudo-Self-Esteem.

 So what is True-Self-Esteem……

Simple to say…

Your ability to feel love and compassion for yourself, whatever the situation or circumstance you find yourself in.

But harder to do…

Do you think that’s worth having?

I do!